Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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