is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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