are you still at the devil's house?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
