yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
