just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
