so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
