Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
