Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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