If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
