You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
