Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
