Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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