Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
