is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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