well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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