Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize