you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
