accomplished twins. life is a go
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
