HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
