I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
