And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
