So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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