I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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