Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just gift wrapped bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize