jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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