he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
