i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I said "one day" and that day is not today
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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