I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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