That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The adults are the big ones right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize