i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
