soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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