Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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