Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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