hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
