Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
