The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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