yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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