I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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