OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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