tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
