Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
