We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
