IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The air was thick with penises
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
