Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
