So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
