you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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