What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
