He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
