So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
