i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
