just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
