Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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