This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
