No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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