so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
