I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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