he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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