Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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