): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
