I am in a vortex of obligation.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
